A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom.
A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard from the bathroom.
A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.
The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is screaming. “What’s all the screaming about in there? You’re scaring the customers!”
“I’m just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, Some thing comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls.”
With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says…
“You idiot. You’re sitting on the mop bucket!”
Two Men At An Irish Pub Have Too Much Beer And The Most Hilarious Conversation Ensues
Two men were sitting next to each other at Murphys Pub in London. After a while, one bloke looks at the other and says, I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland
The other bloke responds proudly, Yes, that I am!
The first one says, So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?
The other bloke answers, I’m from Dublin, I am.
The first one responds, So am I!
Mother Mary and begora. And what street did you live on in Dublin?
The other bloke says, A lovely little area it was. I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town.
The first one says, Faith and it’s a small world. So did I! So did I! And to what school would you have been going?
The other bloke answers, Well now, I went to St. Marys, of course.
The first one gets really excited and says, And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?
The other bloke answers, Well, now, let’s see. I graduated in 1964.
The first one exclaims, The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same place tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Marys in 1964 my own self!
About this time, Vicky walks up to the bar, sits down, and orders a drink.
Brian, the barman, walks over to Vicky, shaking his head and mutters, It’s going to be a long night tonight.
Vicky asks, Why do you say that, Brian?
The Murphy twins are drunk again.
