Julia, our reader, felt exhausted from having to cook separate dairy-free meals for her stepchildren. She was horrified when she accidentally gave them a cake made with milk, but what followed made her sho.cked. Unsure of what to do, she turned to our editorial team, hoping for advice.
Here’s what she shared
Hi,
I’m struggling with a challenging situation involving my husband’s two children from his previous marriage. Every time they stay with us, their mother sends me a long list of what to cook for them. She insists they only eat organic food and strictly avoid dairy because they are lactose intolerant. Preparing everything she requests takes a lot of time and money. I end up cooking twice as much because my children eat regular food.
Once, when my stepchildren were staying with us, I accidentally gave them a cake that had milk in the recipe. I was horrified when I realized it and immediately grabbed my phone to call the doctor. But nothing happened. They simply said the cake was delicious. I waited for some time, but there was no reaction to the milk in the recipe.
I realized my husband’s ex-wife simply wanted to make my life more complicated and I was furious. So, decided to stop cooking separately for my stepchildren. I started feeding them the same food as my own kids, which includes milk and other dairy products. The kids ate well, enjoyed their meals, and there were no complaints or signs of any health issues.
However, everything changed when my youngest stepson, who is 4, innocently mentioned to his mother that he drank milk at our house. She immediately realized that I had been lying about following her dietary instructions and confronted me angrily.
I explained that I didn’t want to cook separately for no reason, as it was unnecessarily time-consuming and expensive. I tried to reason with her, but she was livid and accused me of endangering her children.
This led to a massive family drama. My husband was caught in the middle, trying to mediate but also upset with me for not communicating my decision to him first. I want to maintain peace, but I also don’t want to be manipulated and forced into doing something unreasonable.
I feel lost and stuck and would really use some advice.
Sincerely, Julia
