Choosing a name for a newborn is a significant step which is full of unexpected difficulties. When you are a parent, few decisions are as influential or debated as naming your child. For our reader, a 38-year-old woman, this seemingly straightforward choice resulted in profound and heartbreaking consequences.
Here’s what she shared
We’ve been married for 12 years and have three children. Recently, I gave birth to our fourth and final child, as we don’t plan on having any more. During my pregnancy, we decided to name this child after my mother, who passed away a year ago. Losing her was incredibly hard for me since we were very close. Naming our daughter after her was a way for me to honor her memory and keep her alive in our family. My husband fully supported this decision, understanding how much it meant to me
The birth was challenging. I spent several weeks in the hospital with our baby, and I was so exhausted that I couldn’t manage any paperwork, so I completely trusted my husband to handle it. I never imagined he would do what he did.
Just like with our previous births, we didn’t allow visitors. I’ve been feeling so unwell that I’ve hardly used my phone, except to take a few pictures between sleeping and feeding. We haven’t announced the birth on social media, and I haven’t spoken with anyone yet.
When I decided to open cards and gifts from my husband’s side of the family, I was puzzled. They all congratulated us on the birth of ’Isabella.’ This would have been nice if her name was Isabella.
When I finally opened the card from my mother-in-law, everything clicked. Along with other well-wishes, she thanked us for naming our daughter after her. I was furious with my husband at that moment. Not only did he keep it a secret from me, but he also hid it until I found out on my own.
When I confronted him about it, he simply said, ’Since this is our last child, I wanted to honor both of our mothers. We can still use your mother’s name as a middle name.’ I lost it then. I couldn’t believe he would take advantage of my exhaustion and the time I was focused on caring for the baby to do something like this. I feel so betrayed that I’ve even started thinking about divorce.
I’ve always appreciated your platform as a space where people can express their views on various subjects and receive helpful advice. In the past, I’ve often engaged with posts on your page, offering advice and sharing my thoughts on the stories shared. Now, I’m looking for opinions from your audience about this situation with my husband.
