Moms today are probably under pressure a lot more because there’s just so much information out there on how to parent the best way possible. What if your partner is not on the same boat as you? One mom felt conflicted when her husband shamed her for choosing formula over breastfeeding. Sometimes breastfeeding can be a painful experience so shouldn’t it be up to the mom to decide?
She took to the AITA Reddit thread explaining her story:
I F27 gave birth to my daughter 5 weeks ago. My husband’s been super involved throughout my pregnancy and is continuing his support. However, few months ago, we were discussing breastfeeding and he said breastfeeding should be our go to method to provide our daughter with all the nutrition he needs.
Given my medical history, breastfeeding is possible but we can’t know for sure until I try.
And it hurts like hell, absolute hell. Every time I try to breastfeed, I feel pain and discomfort. I’ve tried different ways to make it easier for me, but I’m still not satisfied. I decided to switch to formula
My husband thinks I made a hasty decision by going with formula.
He has done a lot of research on the benefits of breastfeeding and says that not being breastfed will affect our daughter’s health and affect her development and make us sick. it faces future health problems. I explained my reasons but he kept giving everything.
The husband seemed to not be able to let it go and kept shooting judgemental looks at the new mom when she was feeding their daughter formula.
“He said he thought I chose formula way too soon and didn’t try hard enough to keep breast feed and as a result I’ve “given up” on an opportunity to bond with our daughter. I was getting annoyed because it seemed like he keeps forgetting why I chose formula but his response was that whatever discomfort I was experiencing, I was being selfish thinking about stuff short term and not realizing how lack of breastfeeding could affect our daughter in the future. Basically saying I chose my comfort over our daughter’s health,” she wrote.
This was the last straw.
She fired back saying “no matter how much he reads online about this subject, I’m the one going through this experience and the pain and discomfort.
And said that he should respect my choice to use formula and stop acting like this decision was made out lack of care or consideration for our daughter. And if he’s worried formula is expensive then it is what it is because If I can’t be healthy then our daughter can’t either.”
She also added that “it didn’t seem like he was sharing his opinion but more like guiltripping, since he does this on the regular. He said ” That’s not true and you know it! I’m not even mad or anything I’m just disappointed that you chose this route, that’s all”.
This set the tone for the rest of the night. He got out of bed, grabbed his phone and walked out. I felt genuinely bad because the way I look at it, He was just expressing his thoughts and I was so fast to shut him down and treat him as if he isn’t the parent and gets equal say. AITA! Am I being selfish?”
Redditors were quick to respond to assure the mother she wasn’t wrong.
One person wrote: FED is the best. If breast milk is very important to a child, then medical interventions can be taken to stimulate lactation so that breast milk can be fed. He’s really selfish if he doesn’t see this causing pain and harm to you and you used your body to grow up and give birth to this baby.
Source:daily.lessonslearnedinlife.com
