Woman Leaves Instructions for Repairman but He Decides Not to Listen.
Laura’s dishwasher quit working so she called a repairman. Since she had to go to work the next day, she told the repairman, “I’ll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I’ll mail you a check.
“Oh, by the way, don’t worry about my bulldog, Bob. He won’t bother you. But, whatever you do, do NOT, under ANY circumstances, talk to my parrot! I repeat, do not talk to my parrot!”
When the repairman arrived at Laura’s apartment the following day, he discovered the biggest, meanest looking bulldog he has ever seen. But, just as she had said, the dog just lay there on the carpet watching the repairman go about his work.
The parrot, however, drove him nuts the whole time with his incessant yelling, cursing, and name-calling. Finally, the repairman couldn’t contain himself any longer and yelled, “Shut up you stupid, ugly bird!”
To which the parrot replied, “Get him, Bob!”
A Sweet Old Lady Is Making Lunch For Her Husband.
A sweet old lady is making lunch for her husband one day…
She had been making him the same lunch for the past 40 years.
His favourite: a sandwich on Italian bread, made with turkey, American cheese, pickles, onions, mustard, and mayo.
The husband walks into the kitchen, sits down, and takes a bite.
His wife asks the same thing she always asks,
“How’s the sandwich dear?”
Every time he would give the same response,
“It tastes fine”.
He would continue eating with a disappointed look on his face.
His wife thinks maybe its time to switch things up a bit.
So the next day, she makes him his normal lunch, only this time, she makes it with ham and cheese, and on wheat bread.
She thought surely he will enjoy this!
The husband enters the kitchen, sits down, and takes a bite. His wife then asks “Hows the sandwich dear?”
As always, he replies “It tastes fine”.
He would continue eating with a disappointed look on his face.
His wife then thinks maybe she needs to offer him more variety.
So the next day, she makes him a sandwich, only this time its made with salami, pepperoni, and extra veggies and vinegarette dressing.
He walks in the kitchen, takes a bite, and the wife asks
“How’s the sandwich dear?”
As always, he replies “It tastes fine” and continued eating with a disappointed look on his face.
The next day, as lunchtime is getting ready to roll around, his wife was making him lunch. She was furious at the lack of excitement and enjoyment coming from her husband, so she decides she’s going to make him the most unique sandwich he’s ever had.
She prepares her Italian bread, only this time she toasts it, and almost burns it.
She adds random ingredients like peanut butter, peppers and onions, strawberry jam, turkey, ham, corned beef, some olives and some various seasonings.
She thought “If this doesn’t get a new reaction out of him, nothing will!”
The husband walks into the kitchen, takes a seat, and takes a bite of his sandwich.
All of a sudden, his eyes widen, and he takes two more bites.
Suddenly, he looks up at his wife with the biggest grin he’s ever had.
He chuckled a bit and says
“Finally! Something original in this sub!”
A Blonde Woman Is Asked to Take Two Chimpanzees to the San Diego Zoo
A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from San Diego when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down.
The man walked up to the car and asked, “Are you going to San Diego?”
“Sure,” answered the blonde, “do you need a lift?”
“Not for me. I’ll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck. My problem is I’ve got two chimpanzees in the back that have to be taken to the San Diego Zoo. They’re a bit stressed already so I don’t want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me? I’ll give you $100 for your trouble.”
“I’d be happy to,” said the blonde.
So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde’s car and carefully strapped into their seat belts, and off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of San Diego when suddenly he was horrified! There was the blonde walking down the street, holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd.
With a screech of brakes, he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde. “What are you doing here?” he demanded, “I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo.”
“Yes, I know you did,” said the blonde. “But we had money left over so now we’re going to Sea World.”
Cashier Humiliates Couple Who Can’t Afford Their Groceries
There are times in life when we all face adversity. And all of us will face more or less than others. But for those who find themselves at their lowest financial point in life, there’s arguably no worse feeling in the world than being looked down upon. For people struggling to make ends meet, simple errands like going to the grocery store can feel like a gut-wrenching endeavor, as they try to calculate every penny while balancing the basic needs of their family. And should they come up short once the cashier rings them up, it can feel like the bottom of their world has fallen out as their face fills with shame and embarrassment.
That was the situation of the couple in this story, who, on top of the guilt, had to deal with a rude and hostile cashier seeking to pour salt in their wound. But little did the couple realize that there was a customer who overheard their situation. And what that customer did next made the couple cheer, and the cashier wish that she had a different job!
After paying for my groceries today I was preparing to walk away and I see the cashier rolling her eyes and sucking her teeth as a young lady and young man, (who obviously didn’t have a lot of money) were putting up their groceries, I had a really strong feeling that I was supposed to stay close to these youngsters. Well I stayed and watched as the cashier slammed through their things — the final total was $123.40.
The young girl looked nervous, but scanned her food stamp card and again the cashier rolled her eyes and smirked when it came back that the balance was only $95.30 on the card and she took great pleasure in repeating this, so I stepped up and said, “First of all you need to lower your voice, and second I’m gonna help them out and don’t you roll your eyes at me I’m not a young girl.”
She didn’t say a word. I took out my coupons and stood there very slowly went through all 3 of my coupon carriers, after finding what I could for these young people I hand them to the cashier then gave her my E-card so they got double the coupons and it really seemed to piss the cashier off, the young lady and young man were so excited because they not only had enough but the $123.40 went down to $68.22.
It’s been a very long time since I’ve had young people jumping on me so happy and excited. After they packed up and we were walking away I looked at the cashier and said “Why?”. She looked like she was gonna cry, but said nothing! People, what does it take to change the very essence of ignorance? Why is it easier for some to hate or belittle than to love and encourage?
What did it cost me to help these young people, NOTHING but some coupons that I can just print up more. Just Paying It Forward!!
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An old lady had a perfect response to an arrogant cashier
An old lady was on the checkout at the local supermarket when a young female cashier approached her.
The cashier looked at her arrogantly and told her that she ought to bring her own grocery bags next time, saying “plastic bags aren’t green and you are hurting the planet.”
We didn’t have the green thing back in my earlier days,” the senior woman explained.
The cashier looked at her angrily and replied, “I don’t care what you had or didn’t have! that’s our problem today! Your generation didn’t care enough to save our environment for future generations. You almost blew and it ruined the planet.”
The old lady didn’t say a word and the cashier continued, “It’s all your fault! and now we suffer because you were too lazy and indifferent!”
The old lady admitted that the cashier was right about one thing. Their generation didn’t have the green thing in their day.
She looked at the cashier with a warm smile and told her, “honey, back then, we returned milk bottles, lemonade bottle and beer bottles to the shop. The shop sent them back to the planet to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so that it could use the same bottles repeatedly. So they really were recycled.
We walked up stairs because we didn’t have an escalator in every shop and office building.
We walked to the shop and didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.
Back then, we washed the baby’s diapers because we didn’t have the throw-away kind.
We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days.
Kids got hand-me-down clothes from there brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing.
Back then, we had one TV or radio in the house, not a TV in every room.
And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of Scotland.
In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn’t have electric machines to do everything for us.
When we packaged a fragile item to send in the post, we used old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or bubble wrap.
Back then, we didn’t fire up an engine and burned petrol just to cut the lawn.
We exercised by working, so we didn’t need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.
We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead od using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water.
We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull.
Back then, people took the bus, and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their mother into a 24-hour taxi service.
And now you tell me how lazy I am, dear?”
