A wife was in the middle of preparing breakfast, frying eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, he stormed into the kitchen, panic written all over his face.
“Be careful! CAREFUL! You need more butter! Too many eggs, way too many at once! TURN THEM! Turn them now!”
He was practically shouting as he moved closer to the stove. “We need MORE butter! We’re going to run out! They’re going to stick! Oh my GOD, what are you doing? TURN THEM! Don’t you ever listen when you cook? EVER!”
The wife, standing frozen, stared at him in disbelief. “What is going on with you? I know how to fry eggs! You think I don’t?”
The husband took a deep breath, his expression settling into one of calm realization. “I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving.”
He’s now recovering in the hospital.
An elderly couple was flying to Hawaii for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 50th anniversary.
Suddenly, over the public address system, the captain announces, “Ladies and gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives.”
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.
Still shaken from the crash landing, he then asks, “Did we pay our credit card bill yet?”
“Oh no! I’m sorry. I forgot to send the check,” she says.
“One last thing, did you remember to pay the medical bill for the hospital visit last month?” he asks.
“Oh, forgive me, sweetheart,” begged the wife. “I didn’t send that one, either.”
The husband grabs her and gives her the biggest hug in 50 years. She pulls away and asks him, “What was the hug for?”
The husband answers, “They’ll find us!
