When a romantic partner is dishonest in a relationship, it can be the most excruciating experience possible. You don’t understand how someone who loves you can sleep with another person and break your trust without thinking about your feelings or the ramifications of their actions.
While you want to forgive your unfaithful partner and go on with your relationship, you’re not sure how to deal with the emotional pain and intrusive thoughts that keep you awake at night. The greatest way to mend your damaged relationship is to talk about your true feelings and what you expect from your spouse going forward.
You may be wondering, “How can I trust my partner again after what they did to me?”
In this article, I share some actionable tips on how to forgive a cheater and move on with your relationship.
1. Accept that your partner made a mistake
The first step to forgiving your partner and moving on is to acknowledge that mistakes are inevitable in life.
Everyone makes mistakes from time to time. Even the most disciplined individuals fail at being the best version of themselves once in a while.
The most important thing is that your partner is willing to change their behavior and stay faithful to you from now onwards.
2. Try to understand why they did it
When you find out your partner has someone else, there are going to be so many questions running through your head.
You’re deeply hurt and want to know why they cheated even though you gave them all your love and affection.
Did they do it because they felt unloved, didn’t get enough physical intimacy, or were dissatisfied with their life?
Or were they curious to see if they could find a better partner?
If you’re trying to understand why your partner cheated and need some closure to move on, here are 10 questions to ask your unfaithful spouse:
• Why did you do it?
• How long has it been going on?
• Do I know the person you’ve been sleeping with?
• Are you in love with them?
• Were your needs not being met?
• Did you feel guilty after cheating on me?
• Have you cut off all communication with the person in question?
• Is there anything else I need to know?
• Do you want to make this relationship work?
• What can I do to make this relationship better for you?
3. Clarify what you want your partner to do before you forgive them
To forgive your partner and move on with your relationship, you may want them to do something significant to earn back your trust. That’s totally understandable!
Whatever you want your spouse to do, make sure it’s meaningful, realistic, and actionable.
If your partner is ready to do whatever it takes to regain your trust and love, that’s a sign your relationship has a high chance of survival.
4. Remind yourself of the benefits of staying in the relationship
Despite the hurt you’re feeling at the moment, there’s definitely something beautiful you can cherish about your relationship.
Maybe your partner is gentle, funny, and supportive most of the time. Or you’ve been together for so many years that it would be irrational to throw away everything you’ve built.
Whatever the case, try to make a mental list of every good thing you enjoy as a result of being in the relationship.
5. Verify that your partner is no longer in touch with the other person
When you’re trying to forgive a partner and move on, you need to verify that all communication has ceased between both parties.
To confirm that the affair has ended, your significant other must prove that they’re no longer in contact with their secret partner
6. Give yourself space to deal with your emotions
It’s important to take some time apart from your partner to reflect on recent events and what the future holds for both of you.
However, it’s essential to take a little break to get yourself together.
Tell your partner you need a few days or weeks to yourself to deal with the emotional pain.
Don’t force yourself to show them affection or pick up from where you left off in the relationship.
7. Replace all the negative thoughts you have about the affair with positive things
Typically, when you’ve been betrayed by a romantic partner, you’re going to be bombarded with intrusive thoughts as you try to go back to the way things were before the affair.
It could take a while to forget about the event and fill your mind with positive thoughts but it’s doable.
Tell yourself that the affair is in the past and you’re ready to move forward now.
Go easy on yourself and be as gentle as you can until things get better in your relationship.
