When we marry someone, we typically assume we know everything about them. However, an unexpected discovery – apparently harmless at first—can entirely undermine the trust we’ve earned. A woman stumbled upon her husband’s diary and discovered some disturbing things. Now, as a nervous wife and mother, she wonders, “Should I leave my husband right away?”
Angela’s marriage to her husband began with a few warning signs.
Angela, a 33-year-old woman, recently wrote us a letter expressing her tale, which elicited a wide range of emotions. She asked us to post her message so that she might get advise from our readers and hear their perspectives on the painful position she is now in.
Angela began her letter with, “My husband Andrew and I have been married for 5 years now. We’ve known each other for a total of 10 years and dated for 3 years before getting married. Our marriage was very happy, though it started with a red flag that I wish I hadn’t overlooked at the time.”
She went on to reveal, “When Andrew proposed, I expected a beautiful engagement ring because he had a good income and had always been generous with gifts. He used to spoil me with expensive presents, so I naturally anticipated something special on that important day. But Andrew showed up with a very cheap ring, and when he noticed the slight disappointment on my face, he said, ’All material things are just things. You can’t take anything material with you to the grave, so you should be happy and grateful for what I feel for you, not what I give you.’”
Angela continued, “I’ve never been materialistic, so I didn’t dwell on the cheap ring. I just felt uneasy because of this sudden shift in his behavior. With our engagement, he went from being a sincere and generous man to someone who suddenly adopted a frugal philosophy that I don’t remember him having before. But I brushed it off and ignored his remarks about taking things to the grave. I was simply happy with what I had at that moment.”
Everything seemed normal in their marriage until one day, things took a sudden turn.
Angela continues her story, saying, “Throughout our 5-year marriage, Andrew has kept a semi-regular diary. He never tried to hide it, and until now, I always respected his privacy. But after a heated argument one day, my intuition told me to read it. So, after he left for work, I did.”
Angela was ᴛᴇʀʀɪғɪᴇᴅ as she flipped over the pages of her husband’s journal. “After reading his diary, I wish I had never even touched it- I was so sh0cked and ᴅɪsɢᴜsᴛᴇᴅ by what I found. My dear, beloved husband wrote several times that he hat3s me, and at one point, he even wrote that when I was sick, he hoped I would ???.”
Angela explained, “We recently went through a rough patch that lasted about two weeks. It was a difficult time for both of us, but I believe we got through it together. There were no moments where I felt afraid of him, just honest conversations about tough emotions.
Andrew’s expressions of ʜᴀᴛʀᴇᴅ coincided with that rough period. The rest of the journal was quite ordinary and reflected the man I know and love. It was filled with his thoughts on work and family, his goals, and even habit tracking.”
Angela has been struggling to sleep ever since she discovered what her husband truly thinks of her.
Angela shared, “When I read those words, I didn’t hesitate. I packed up my things and our daughter’s as well and went to stay with a friend. I took photos of all the diary pages as proof. I told him I needed some space to cool off after our argument and that I’d be back soon. I’ve already booked a session with my therapist and even reached out to a lawyer.”
She continued, “Since I left, my husband has sent me a few warm messages. He said he’s glad I’m taking some time for myself, that he’s looking forward to seeing me when I get back, and reassured me that it’s normal to have little bumps in the road. He told me he loves me, and it’s made me start to doubt my initial decision.”
But now, Angela is unsure of what to do. “I was convinced our relationship was over the moment I read that he ʜᴀᴛᴇᴅ me. Even the fact that I felt the need to invade his privacy showed me that something was seriously wrong in our marriage. Yet, all his warm messages and the other entries in his diary are making me second-guess myself,” she wrote.
After a while, things began to improve.
After a few days of back-and-forth messaging, Angela’s husband reached out and asked if they could meet to speak. She was hesitant at first, but eventually accepted, hoping to obtain clarification. They chose a quiet café, a neutral setting in which they could openly discuss everything.
“When we met, he looked genuinely concerned,” Angela shared. “He told me that he missed me and our daughter and that he’d been reflecting a lot on what had happened. He said he regretted writing those things and that he never meant for me to find them.”
They talked for hours, delving into the concerns that had been simmering under the surface. Angela explained, “We both acknowledged that we hadn’t been communicating as well as we should have. We agreed that our relationship needed serious work if we were going to move forward.”
Finally, they decided to give their marriage another try, but with a clear strategy in place. “We agreed to go to family therapy together,” Angela stated. “We both realize that we need professional help to repair the damage and rebuild trust. It’s going to be a long road, and I’m still scared. But for the sake of our family, we’re going to try and make it work.”
