When confronted with a neighbor who adamantly refused to turn off his bright floodlights at night, I knew my husband and I had to devise a novel solution that would resolve the issue without escalating the confrontation. Instead of confronting our neighbors directly or generating a disturbance, we devised a clever plan that not only resolved the problem but also maintained harmony in our area.
I vividly recall the day the Thompsons moved in next door. My wife, Gia, and Susan hit it off immediately away, and we assumed we had discovered an older couple with whom we could get along. They appeared pleasant enough—Mark was frequently out for work, whereas Susan was more of a homebody, timid and afraid of practically everything.
Gia told me that Susan had a lengthy list of anxieties, including snakes, spiders, thunderstorms, and the dark. While we respected her fears, one of them quickly became a reality in our lives: her fear of the dark led to the installation of glaring floodlights over their garage.
Initially, it did not appear to be a huge concern. After all, we also had lights installed in our yard. But the Thompsons’ lights were on a whole other level—dazzling LEDs flashed directly into our bedroom at night, making it impossible to sleep. Gia’s first restless night elicited a disgruntled complaint: “They’re just blinding, Anthony.” “I am sure you could see them from space.”
Gia attempted to communicate with Susan, thinking that she would comprehend our predicament. But Susan was certain. “I need them,” she said. “They make me feel safe when Mark is away.”
We didn’t want to cause problems, so we attempted alternative options. We purchased blackout shutters and heavy drapes, and we even attempted to rearrange our bedroom furniture, but nothing helped. The lights continued to invade our nights, depriving us of sleep.
I eventually decided to talk to Susan myself. I tried to reason with her, even offering to establish a timer for the lights, but she refused to budge. Her terror trumped our need for slumber, therefore the lights remained on.
I approached Mark, expecting he would be more understanding. But he, too, was unwavering, putting Susan’s comfort ahead of our discomfort. “These lights make her feel secure, and that’s what matters,” I heard him say.
As the sleepless evenings drew on, I became increasingly frustrated. I even joked about taking dramatic steps, such as unscrewing the bulbs or using a pellet gun to remove them. But Gia reminded me that escalating the situation was not the solution.
Then one day, Gia gave me an idea. She and Susan were going to be gone for a bit, so I had an hour to do something safe and unobtrusive. So I got the ladder, sneaked over to the Thompsons’ house, and gradually loosened the lights until they flickered and went out.
That evening, the lights flickered and went, and for the first time in weeks, we had a quiet, dark night. The Thompsons didn’t appear to notice the next morning, which surprised me. After months of turning out the lights, we were finally able to sleep.
But then, one day, I observed Mark outdoors, tightening the bulbs. That night, the lights went back on, brighter than before. Frustrated but undeterred, I tried my trick again, and the lights went off. This back-and-forth went on for over a year—Mark tightened the bulbs, and I loosen them again.
One Saturday morning, as I was pruning the hedges, Mark casually addressed the problem. He was perplexed by the lights frequently going out and the bulbs loosening, but I kept things cool, speculating that the vibrations from the street traffic could be the culprit.
Surprisingly, Mark agreed with my explanation and ultimately determined that the lights were not worth the bother. He thanked me for the suggestion, and we went back to enjoying our quiet, pitch-black nights.
In the end, our nuanced approach enabled us to fix the problem without incurring any ill will. Sometimes a little imagination and patience are all that is required to keep the peace while receiving what you need.
