A man stirred an internet debate after leaving his girlfriend behind because she couldn’t afford to pay her portion of the vacation expenses.
There is nothing quite like a vacation. Sunshine, lie-ins, and cocktails galore: getting away is always a pleasure.
What would you do if you booked a trip with your partner but they were unable to pay their share?
Well, one man, Reddit user AudDMurphy, has inquired whether he’s an a**hole for going on a vacation without his girlfriend because she couldn’t afford it.
In his post, the Reddit user says that he is 39, about to turn 40, and that his partner is 33 years old.
According to him, the relationship was going well, and the couple had begun discussing his upcoming milestone birthday.
He also stated that he had never ‘taken a holiday’ in his life. He’d taken prolonged work trips and visited friends and family, but only for long weekends.
So, for his 40th birthday, he planned a week-long vacation with his girlfriend.
He goes on to claim that, since his 20s, he’s worked hard to get his ‘finances in order’ and has been able to save money for his next birthday vacation.
But would he be wrong to go without his partner?
“My girlfriend is great,” he says. “She works hard and supports herself.
“I told her I’d be willing to cover our lodging and, depending on where we go, help her pay for airfare. Because we haven’t been dating long, I don’t feel comfortable paying her whole way and feel she should contribute financially to come along.”
Sounds reasonable, right?
Well, his partner began to express worries about her ability to fund the portions of the vacation he anticipated her to pay for on her own.
“She […] told me she didn’t feel she could afford to cover meals + half airfare even if I went somewhere relatively cheap.”
However, the Reddit user had hoped for a trip to the Caribbean, which would have cost her just under $500.
“But she doesn’t make as much money [as me] and, most importantly, is currently saddled with around $20k in credit card debt arising from a period of unexpected unemployment she had in the past that forced her to burn through savings and live on credit cards,” he shares.
His partner informed him that she would be unable to pay her way for this reason.
When he offered leaving alone for a week, she grew offended, and they ended up arguing.
He had shared his concerns with his friends and family before posting them on Reddit.
“My friends and family are split,” he says. “On the one hand, some point out how many things I wanted to do but didn’t get to do because my ex refused to ‘let’ me and so I should go forth with or without her.
“On the other, some are saying it is ᴄʀᴜᴇʟ of me to be planning a vacation in front of a person who is trying to pay off large amounts of debt anyway.”
The question of whether or not user AudDMurphy is an a**hole has well and truly divided the internet.
One person, siding with him, says: “Her attitude is ‘If I can’t be part of the fun, he doesn’t get to have fun without me.’ Who does that? This is not someone who cares about you. RUN.”
Another adds: “Trying to change his 40th bday bucket list plans is so selfish.”
“She is showing that she would rather him not achieve one of his dreams than have a week’s vacation without her,” a third agrees.
While others expressed their support for the girlfriend.
One writes: ‘It might not be a black-and-white situation and it might be worth it to see if they can talk this out and get on the same page.”
“You are quite a few years older than your gf. You should not expect her to be in the same place,” someone else replies.
Another adds: “No one wants to be around for only the everyday mundane stuff and then swept aside/dropped when the fun stuff comes around.”
AudDMurphy was ultimately voted ‘Not An A**hole.’
