Here’s a good one about marriage!
A man was invited out for a night with “the boys.”
He told his wife that he’d be home by midnight, “Promise!”
The hours passed and the beer went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., drunk as a skunk, he headed home. Just as he got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed three times.
Quickly, he realized his wife would probably wake up, so he cuckooed another nine times.
He was really proud of himself, coming up with such a quick-witted solution, even when completely trashed, to escape a possible conflict.
The next morning his wife asked him what time he got in, and he told her 12 o’clock. She didn’t seem disturbed at all. Whew, the man thought, got away with that one!
She then told him that they needed a new cuckoo clock.
When he asked her why she said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said ‘oh shit,’ cuckooed four more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.”
Not as clever as he thought, eh?