A newlywed husband came home from a long, tiring day at the office. The moment he walked through the front door, his beautiful new wife ran up to him, her eyes sparkling with excitement.
“Honey, I have some absolutely incredible news for you,” she whispered softly. “Pretty soon, we are going to be three in this house instead of just two!”
The husband’s heart skipped a beat. A massive smile erupted across his face, and his eyes filled with pure delight. Glowing with absolute happiness, he swept his wife into his arms, spinning her around and showering her face with passionate kisses, overjoyed at the thought of becoming a father.
As he finally set her down, panting with excitement, his wife smiled warmly and added:
“I am so incredibly glad that you feel this way! Because tomorrow morning, my mother is moving in with us permanently.”
Little Johnny Knew Exactly Why Farmers Use a Rooster Weather Vane—And His Answer Left the Teacher Speechless
Little Johnny was sitting in his elementary school classroom one afternoon when the teacher decided to start a lesson on agriculture and life on a farm.
To kick off the discussion, she turned to the blackboard and asked the class, “Can anyone tell me how a modern farmer tracks the weather on his farm?”
The room fell dead silent. Nobody seemed to have a clue—except, of course, for Little Johnny. He was practically jumping out of his seat, frantically waving his hand in the air. Reluctantly, the teacher decided to give him a shot.
“The farmer uses a weather vane to tell which way the weather is turning!” Johnny shouted proudly.
“Excellent, Johnny! That’s correct,” the teacher said, pleasantly surprised. Trying to keep the momentum going, she asked the next logical question: “Now, class, what kind of animal is traditionally depicted on a weather vane?”
Once again, blank stares filled the room. Only Johnny’s hand shot back up like a rocket.
With a slight sigh, the teacher sighed and said, “Go ahead, Johnny.”
Johnny flashed a giant grin and yelled, “Why teacher, it’s a cock!”
The teacher winced slightly at the terminology, but sighed to herself, realizing that technically speaking, he was absolutely right.
Hoping to wrap up the lesson cleanly, she asked one final question: “Alright, can anyone tell the class why a farmer specifically puts a cock on top of the barn to act as a weather vane?”
The rest of the kids stared at their desks in total confusion. Johnny, however, was sporting a grin that stretched from ear to ear. Knowing she was probably going to regret it, the teacher braced herself and allowed him to answer.
Johnny stood up proudly in front of the entire class, puffed out his chest, and announced:
“It’s a cock, teacher, because as everyone knows—if it were a cunt, the freaking wind would just blow right through it!”
