There is a diner in New Orleans that advertises that it will serve you anything you want…but if they can’t, they will give you $5,000 as an apology.
A man passing by sees this message advertised at the entrance…Thinking it’s probably a scam, he decides to try it out anyway. As he enters the diner, a waitress seats him at a table… She asks the man, “What can I get you, Sir? ”The man thinks for a moment then says, “How about an elephant’s ear and a muffin?
”The waitress replies, “You bet, I’ll be right back with your order. ”The waitress then heads back to the kitchen…After waiting nearly 20 minutes, the man begins to think that this is going to be an easy $5,000. At the same moment, the waitress returns…
Appearing a little anxious, the waitress asks, “I’m sorry sir… ”“But would you mind telling me what kind of elephant you want this ear from? ”The man is stunned… “Uhhh, how about an Indian elephant.” replies the man. The waitress says, “Thank you, sir,” as she heads back to the kitchen. Not a minute later, the waitress returns again…“I’m sorry sir, would you like the left or the right ear?” she asks. The man is starting to become very nervous at this point… “Uhhhh, the left ear, I guess. “Thank you, sir,” replies the waitress as she returns to the kitchen…
The man is beginning to wonder what he has gotten himself into, as he has no idea what an elephant ear costs. A few minutes later, the waitress returns with a platter of food and a $5,000 check. The waitress tells the man, “Here is your order sir. “And please accept this check and our apologies… ”“But we are out of muffins today.”
A man walks past a beggar every day and gives him $2, and that continues for a year.
Then, suddenly, the daily donation changes to $1.50.
“Well,” he thinks, “it’s always better than nothing.”
A year passes in this way until the man’s daily donation suddenly becomes $1.00.
“What’s going on now?” The beggar asks his donor.
“First you give me $2 every day, then $1.50, and now only $1, what’s the problem?”
“Well,” the man says, “my eldest son went to college last year. It’s very expensive so I had to cut the costs. This year, my eldest daughter also went to university, so I had to cut my expenses even further.”
“And how many children do you have?” Asks the beggar.
“Four,” the man replies.
“Well,” says the beggar, “I hope you don’t plan to educate them all at my expense.”
I saw a homeless man & I asked him if I gave him $20 would you buy booze?
He said no he hadn’t had a beer in years.
Then I said if I give you $20 will you buy hunting gear?
He again said no, he stopped hunting 5 years ago.
So then I said I’ll do you better than $20.
I’ll take you home and let you all clean up.
My wife will cook a fantastic meal for you.
Then I’ll bring you back & still give you $20.
He asked me wouldn’t she get mad?
I said it didn’t matter.
I just wanted her to see what happens to a man when he stops drinking & hunting!
