Two deaf men were talking on their coffee break about being out late the night before.
The first man signed to his friend, “My wife was asleep when I got home, so I was able to sneak into bed, and not get into trouble.”
The second deaf man signed back, “Boy, you’re lucky.
My wife was wide awake, waiting for me in bed, and she started swearing at me and giving me heck for being out so late.”
The first deaf man asked, “So, what did you do?”
The second deaf man signed, “I turned out the light!”
That rooster knows exactly what he’s doing…
A farmer has 200 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster which he would sell.
The other farmer says, “Yeah, I’ve got this great rooster, named Randy. He’ll service every chicken you got, no problem.”
Well, Randy the rooster costs a lot of money, but the farmer decides he’ll be worth it. So he buys Randy.
A man goes to a restaurant and orders a chicken dish.
By the time the food is ready and he is about to eat, the waiter comes back and says,
“Sir, I’m afraid there has been a mistake. You see, that police officer who is sitting at the next table is a regular customer of ours and he usually orders the same dish.
The problem is, this is the last chicken in the house. I’m afraid I’ll have to take this dish to him and arrange for another dish for you! ”
The guy gets really upset and refuses to give up his food.
The waiter walks over to the other table and explains the situation to the officer.
A few minutes later the officer walks over to the man’s table and says,
“Listen and listen good. That is MY chicken you are about to eat and I’ll w_arn you, whatever you do to that chicken I’ll do the same to you. You pull out one of its legs, I’ll pull out one of yours. You break one of its wings, I’ll break one of your arms! ”
The man calmly looks at the chicken, then sticks his middle finger in the bird’s rectum, pulls it out and licks it.
He then gets up, drops his pants, bends over and says,
“Go ahead!”
There is a mommy stork, a daddy stork, and a baby stork.
One day, daddy didn’t come home for dinner.
Mommy and baby were very worried.
When dad came home late the next morning, they asked what he was doing.
“I was making a young couple very happy,” he replied.
About a week later, mommy didn’t come home for dinner.
Daddy and the baby were very worried.
When mom came home late the next morning, they asked what she was doing.
“I was making a young couple very happy,” she replied.
A few days later, the baby didn’t come home for dinner.
Mom and dad were very worried.
When he came home very late the next morning, they asked him where he was.
Baby just grinned and said,
“I’ve been scaring the sh!t out of college students!”
