Contrary to popular belief, Eve was actually created first. After her first month in the Garden of Eden, God dropped by to check on how she was settling in.
“Everything is wonderful,” Eve said, “except for these three breasts you gave me. The middle one keeps getting caught on branches and is always in the way.”
“Fair point,” God admitted. “It was my first attempt at this creation game. I gave the animals six, so I thought three was a safe bet. Let me fix that.” God reached down, plucked out her middle breast, and tossed it into the nearby bushes.
A month later, God visited again. “How is my favorite creation doing?”
“I’m terribly lonely,” Eve sighed. “All the animals have mates—the cow has her bull, the ewe has her ram. I’m the only one without a partner.”
“You’re absolutely right,” God said. “Silly me! You need a companion. I shall immediately create Man from a part of your own body… Now, let’s see…”
God peered into the thick undergrowth and muttered:
“Where on earth did I toss that useless tit?”
